How to weigh a pig...
I get calls from people that want to know how big their pigs are and
when they are going to be ready. I don't have a livestock scale,
although if you garage salers out there could keep an eye out for one
I'd really appreciate it. I try to give the best guess thing a try but I
really am not all that good at it. There is a way to measure your pig
and calculate the weight but I think that this is meant for pigs that
apparently have more training than mine do.
The first thing that the directions tell you to do is to get the pig to
stand in a natural stance and relax. My pigs are pretty laid back,
their normal "stance" is on their side in a hole of watery mud. Once in
this position they are not all that inclined to move. My second option
was on all four feet, the only problem there is that if pigs are on
their feet they are not usually in a "natural stance" but they are
running around digging and, well, moving. It is hard to convince a pig
that is moving to stand still long enough to run a tape measure around
their girth (for my dear city friend- the girth is part of the body that
is just behind the front legs) I not only have to run the tape around
the girth but it has to be snugged up fairly tight. Pigs are prey
animals. They don't like anything "snugged up tight" on their bodies.
My pigs are used to me and they usually just come up to see what I am up
to and if I happen to have anything that could be considered a treat.
The second that I go into their field with a string though it is game
on. I found the pig that my customer bought and followed her around
until I got her somewhat isolated. Now pigs are smart...Einstein should
have been so smart. This pig who was named Lucy by my customer knew
that something was up and I had to convince her that it wasn't bad and
would only take a couple of seconds, 60 at most, of her busy day. I
talked to her, gave her a special treat and pretended that I was just
out for a walk. I scratched her ears and her side and then
ever...so...slowly....and...carefully...I gently placed the tape down
her side and, still scratching her side, reached for the tape. With one
ear cocked to the side and her eyes slightly squinted with evil
thoughts, Lucy was off like a rocket, taking half of the tape with her.
I was left holding the other half of the tape.
Round two...Hiding the new measuring tape, I isolate Lucy again, and
give more treats and scratches. I try to get her up against the fence
in a corner so that it isn't one freakishly smart pig against little old
me. This time I am less sneaky about the tape and as I slowly lean
down to grab the end of the tape, Lucy shifts her weight and my arm is
now being firmly held between her and the fence... I am so glad that my
pigs are tame. By the time that I free myself she is very pleased with
herself. After throwing about 12 dozen eggs for her I finally have a
girth measurement and a headache.
The second part of the measurement is the length. A much easier
measurement to get even on the run. This measurement is from the base of the ears to the base of the tail. The calculation for the weight is
girth squared times the length divided by 400.
So my dear customer I can tell you based on my calculations and one
hard afternoons work that your pig weighs somewhere between 100 and 400
pounds and will be ready for the freezer sometime between tomorrow and
September. I REALLY need a scale!
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